This Quote

Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits. This is why everyone is struggling.” 
-Tina Fey

Anyway

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;

It was never between you and them anyway.

This is literally me trying to get my life together. 

it has begun

Growing

I haven't posted in so long. I feel I used to be so eloquent and articulate but as of late I've become a little more than rusty. Let's work on that, Shall we? 

Growing up is horrible, it's a horrible wonderful thing. Things have started changing in my life, things I can't control. Friends move away, people get married, serve missions, go off to school, even pass away and I'm finally starting to see the repercussions of it all. Most days I get overwhelmed and think "How could I get any happier than I was before?" I don't think I can move on because people's fingerprints are still on my heart and voices still resonate down my toes and smiles live in my eyes and every single time my mind wanders I'm taken back to how things were. Isn't that silly of me? 

I stumbled upon this quote today and have felt so propelled to share it, ya know cause this is my blog and I have an invisible audience to appeal to. ha whatever. Anyway.

 “So, I guess we are who we are for alot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them.” 
 ― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower 

 Living in the past is such an interesting thing. We don't think anything better can come from the future and so we dread change. We dread stepping into something unknown and fear fear itself. We question our capabilities. I love this quote. We can't change the past or live in it but "We can still do things and we can try to feel okay about them" We don't have to be okay and that's totally okay but we just keep trying. We don't shut down and try to prevent change. Just keep trying. Let go and try and that's more than acceptable. Try.

crying over this

I cannot wait much longer.

When I met you, flowers started growing in the darkest parts of my mind.

I've missed you

Good thing I haven't posted in almost six months. Let's work on that.

okay

"Don't let your happiness depend on something you may lose" 
-C.S Lewis.

Less than one week till Valentines Day

Other Girls:


Me:



. . . . .
But in all seriousness . . . yeah.

It’s scary to find someone that makes you happy. You start giving them all of your attention because they’re what makes you forget everything bad that’s going on in your life. They’re the first person you want to talk to in the morning and the last one before you sleep just so you can start and end your day with a smile. It all sounds great to have that someone, but it’s scary to think about how easily they could just leave and take that happiness away too when they go.

everyone needs a waving snail on their blog

Happens to the best of us.

Never let it be said that to dream is a waste of one's time, for dreams are our realities in waiting. In dreams we plan the seed to our future.

Won't you walk through?

hola

no more.

My heart is bursting at the seams with the love that I want to give. I had bundled it up inside me for so long ready to give it to someone. To you. I had it ready to present it but instead I smothered it back down away from anyone to see. So now it oozes from my cracks because there is no place to direct it. 

I am tired of always falling back into my head where thoughts that aren't real stay. Nostalgia is my bitter friend. The parts just out of reach the memories of what was or my childish thoughts of things that could be and what was lost along the way. Where the affectionate sentiments and the dizzy fallings seem to drown me. No more.

The most accurate personification of my life.

Back in the Groove.

Christmas is coming. I can't even handle this blog! I have one, ONE decoration on my tree, Ariel, and it's perfect.
In other news Christmas Carol is going great. Aubrey came with the family tonight and brought me flowers. I love her seriously she's wonderful.
Blog, I miss you. I miss writing, I miss being able to express exactly how I feel to an invisible audience. I am not eloquent like I used to be. I stumble over the things I say and can't seem to articulate what I think or feel. Ha the funny thing is, I don't know what I exactly I do feel anymore about so many things.

Happy Birthday Walt.

Yes to all of this. always.

What can you do when your good isn't good enough?

accepted

Yes. Yes you do.

feeling

It's funny because you meet these people and they make you laugh and they give you hope and they make you realize that there is so much more to life and when you're with them you forget how empty you felt before.

come soonerrrrrrr.

first world problems.

50 Random

• 1. What's your favorite candle scent? Christmas anything
• 2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister? Betty White
• 3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother? Alan Rickman
• 4. How old do you think you'll be when you get married? Before 30
• 5. Do you know a hoarder? Yes.
• 6. Can you do a split? No
• 7. How old were you when you learned how to ride a bike? 8, I think.
• 8. How many oceans have you swam in? 2
• 9. How many countries have you been to? 1
• 10. Is anyone in your family in the army? Nope
• 11. What would you name your daughter if you had one? Elisabeth 
• 12. What would you name your son if you had one? Dumbledore 
• 13. What's the worst grade you got on a test? F
• 14. What was your favorite TV show when you were a child? Blue's Clues
• 15. What did you dress up as on Halloween when you were eight? A Cat
• 16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series? Harry Potter= My Life. I need to read Hunger Games, Twilight was boring to me.
• 17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British accent? British duh.
• 18. Did your mother go to college? Yes.
• 19. Are your grandparents still married? 54 years and counting
• 20. Have you ever taken karate lessons? Once.
• 21. Do you know who Kermit the frog is? Yes.
• 22. What's the first amusement park you've been to? Disneyland
• 23. What language, besides your native language, would you like to be fluent in? French
• 24. Do you spell the color as grey or gray? Gray, I'm American
• 25. Is your father bald? No
• 26. Do you know triplets? Yes
• 27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook? Titanic the Musical and The Notebook
• 28. Have you ever had Indian food? Love it
• 29. What's the name of your favorite restaurant? Roxberry
• 30. Have you ever been to Olive Garden? What kind of question is this?
• 31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores (Costco, BJ's, etc.)? Costco
• 32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender? No Clue
• 33. If you have a nickname, what is it? Fifi, McDonalds, Kell, BRENDA
• 34. Who's your favorite person in the world? My Grandpa
• 35. Would you rather live in a rural area or in the suburbs? Suburbs.
• 36. Can you whistle? Yes
• 37. Do you sleep with a nightlight? No
• 38. Do you eat breakfast every morning? Never
• 39. Do you take any pills or medication daily? Vitamin E
• 40. What medical conditions do you have? none
• 41. How many times have you been to the hospital? No Clue more than 10 less than 20?
• 42. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo? Yes
• 43. Where do you buy your jeans? American Eagle usually
• 44. What's the last compliment you got? I was told I was very pretty and had nice eyes
• 45. Do you usually remember your dreams in the morning? Almost always
• 46. What flavor tea do you enjoy? Chai
• 47. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own? 20-30
• 48. What religion will you raise your children to practice? LDS
• 49. How old were you when you found out that Santa wasn't real? 5th Grade
• 50. How many times have you been in love? As much as I know about love I would say 2 maybe 3 times.

“O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;
It is the green-ey'd monster, which doth mock
The meat it feeds on. That cuckold lives in bliss,
Who, certain of his fate, loves not his wronger

Happy Hallowwen Kids.

Lucy in the Sky.

So, I got a cat. She's pretty cute. Lucy.

Week 3

Week three of my thirty day challenge! I even included my Christmas Carol costume fitting, just cause I'm classy.

tides

When sadness was the sea, you taught me how to swim.
Thank you.

Days of the week

I fall from elegance with a dull thud, and I apologize for my awkward sadness. I sometimes believe that I don't belong around people, that I belong to all the leap days that didn't happen. I am not a Sunday morning or a Friday sunset, I am a Thursday 2 AM. I am not elegance.

true happiness.

"Music can take me back to the happiest and darkest times of my life, the times I'm dying to re-live and the times I forgot."

Bought these yesterday.
I am in love.

30 Days Continued

Here's a look at week two of my thirty day challenge!

• Normal flirting: hey youre cute we should go out sometime (;
• Mckelle flirting: so you like bread?

“Vulnerability is the only authentic state. Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset. Be vulnerable: quake and shake in your boots with it. The new goodness that is coming to you, in the form of people, situations, and things can only come to you when you are vulnerable and open.”

—	Stephen Russell