I can say, I would rather be dead last than second best. Nothing hurts more than being almost good enough, almost the best, almost worth it. Have you ever felt like you don't know what's going on anymore? Like you don't care about anything anymore. You've lost your motivation to do anything. Your mind is set on too many things that you are confused about your feelings, and you can't explain how you feel either. The feeling of emptiness, and feeling that barely anyone is there for you anymore. Feeling that no one understands you and you don't understand yourself and it seems that there is nothing to look forward to anymore. That's today.